Why am I on this stupid Disney fast? Why on earth would I pick NOW to do it? I've been extremely down in the dumps lately, and I have nothing to get me out of this terrible trap. Finals are coming up and I am very unprepared, but do I study now that I have time away from Disney-relations? No, of course not. I just have more time to stress. I'm skint-broke and now that I have more time do I use it to find a better job? No. I use it to drive around and waste gas, thus causing me to become even more broke.
It's not that I CAN'T go without Disney (because I'm really fine, I'm not getting withdrawls or anything), it's just that I'm becoming a terribly cranky person because my normal way to cheer myself up is gone. (Ya, that does sound kind of like an addict, but I swear, that's not the way I mean it.) Disney brings joy to everyone. It doesn't really hurt anyone.
Don't worry, I'm not giving up on my fast, I'm just complaining. I have nothing positive to focus on right now. No Disney, no boyfriend, not even a date. (Ya, ok, Christmas is coming up, but I'm broke, so really, what can I do to get into Christmas spirits?)
That's the truth about this blog post. It's not so much that I need Disney... I just need a guy. Not neccessarily any specific guy, but I need a date. It's killing me that I've not been asked out on a single date since... what... Jr. Prom? Yep. I have been asked out on a grand total of 2 dates in my LIFE. Do you understand now why I'm a little bitter?
And I know this is getting selfish of me, but it's also getting to where I can't even stand listening to my roommates talk about their guy problems... or guy successes (? for want of a better word). I can't be in the same room as them when they all get together and talk about this kind of stuff. I usually lock myself in my room and try to sleep it off, or I go for a drive (no matter how late at night). I wouldn't mind so much... if I had anything to contribute. But I'm probably the last girl on earth you want to discuss your love life with. What do you honestly think I can say?
Can anyone explain to me why I can't get a date? Why I can't get a guy to even ask me out? Why I spend EVERY night home alone? Is there something so objectionable about me? Do I really distance myself that much from guys? Lately I thought I had been making progress... Obviously not enough progress.
Maybe it's my negative attitude which I've expressed in this blog. Maybe that's all guys see in me. Though I try to be upbeat and optimistic most of the time. I'm generally quite a happy person... but right now all I see is negativity in my life.
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