Just a good day :)

Yesterday was a near-perfect Sunday in Provo.  I went to church where we had Fast and Testimony meeting due to General Conference being the first week in April.  Yesterday was a perfect example of just how great my ward really is.  When Brother Allen turned the time over to the ward members to bear testimony immediately five or so people jumped up.  After the first speaker about five more got in line.  Overall there ended up being not enough time - so many people wanted to share their testimony of the Gospel that there just wasn't enough time!  You may think that it's due to being the last Fast Sunday of the school year and people wanted to end with a good note, but that's not the case.  That's how our ward has been every month since I've been here.  There are just so many people with such strong testimonies in the ward.  I love it.

After Sacrament meeting I went to Sunday school with my roommate to the class where my favorite teacher was teaching.  This guy really knows the material, and knows how to make it interesting and get the class involved in the discussions.  Not to mention, I definitely have a crush on him.  I thought I had let him go, but I guess I never really did.  I have learned better how to express myself though.  I can probably thank my roommate, Charlee, for that.  She doesn't just give me advice like other people in my life... she does something about it.  She gets me out of my shell.  She takes me to hang out with people I don't know... sometimes with people she doesn't really even know well.  These are people that don't know either of us, so they will talk to both of us.  That gets me talking.  That gives me confidence.

Lately I've used that confidence to talk to this attractive teacher.  He is also a Home Teacher to my other roommates.  He stopped by after church yesterday to just visit with them, but it wasn't a formal "lesson" so half of the apartment got involved in just... talking.  I actually talked to him.

When it finally came time for Ward Prayer.  I sat near and talked to this attractive teacher again. :)

After nice notes and treats Charlee had to leave kind of early due to other plans, so I left with her.  Then after she left to meet with her old friends I was basically home alone (Hillary was there, but not feeling well.)  After that I decided to go back over to nice notes to be social.  Guess who I ran into sitting alone outside? :)  So this attractive teacher and I talked for another minute or two.  That was probably the highlight of the day.

Then I went to watch Hercules at another friend's apartment where we all quoted pretty much the entire thing.

Overall, it was really just a good day.  Perfect.

Disneyland Vacation!

This time it's official!  I am going to Disneyland this week!  In 2 days!  Everything is planned, so this time the vacation is definitely going to happen, unlike in the past when I've gotten so excited only to have plans fall through.  All the details have been worked out - Brittany will be picking me up at 5:00 AM on Monday morning, we've got our hotel booked, we've got our tickets to the park situated... everything is set!

One sad thing - for some reason I'm not as SUPER excited right now as I should be.  Maybe it's because I won't get to see Fantasmic! or the fireworks.  Maybe it's because Splash Mountain is under repair.  Maybe it's because my favorite Mad Hatter actor might not be there.  Maybe it's just because it's been too long since I've been there (6 months is a LONG time to be away from Disneyland) and I'm lacking in the magic.  The last reason is probably the most accurate.

It's just crazy.  I've been so excited for months.  Now it's around the corner and I'm not freaking out.  Am I finally growing up?  I definitely hope not.  I never want to let go of the magic!  I think I just haven't been psyching myself up like I should be.  I haven't been watching enough Disney movies, listening to enough Disney music, or watching the right YouTube videos.  I've been focusing too much on the Mad Hatter instead of more of the magic - like World of Color!

Sorry, this has probably been a rather unentertaining blog for you readers.  This post is more for my benefit.  More for my talking myself into becoming more excited.

If you do want a more entertaining read, don't forget to check out my other blog - When Life Gives You Lemons.  It's a great read... talks about some of the ups and downs of my life in Provo - obviously containing dating life, school, and other random-osities.  :) 

I love life.

Over him! ... finally

Today had been going very splendidly.  I was very productive:  got my hair cut, took a test (doing pretty well), and ran some errands.  I didn't get everything done that I wanted to accomplish, but I am satisfied with what I did.  Then I decided to stop by Burger Supreme to grab a bite to eat since they were having a special.  After I walked in and ordered my food I heard someone call my name... it was George!  So after I picked up my food I sat at a table near his where he was sitting with a couple friends from our ward.  They all called me over to sit with them.  We sat and ate and talked about his friend's dating life with this girl from Germany.  During the conversation they asked for my opinion in the situation, to get a girl's perspective.  I responded that I wouldn't be the best girl to ask because I've been out of the dating game for a while.

After that conversation was winding down one of the guys (not George) asks why I'm not dating anyone.  I'm not sure whether or not I glanced at George... I definitely thought of him right away.  Then my thoughts suddenly turned to Scott.  Wow!  I wasn't really thinking about him before the question was asked, but suddenly I decided I would rather be in a relationship with him.  I'm really happy about that.

As the conversation went on, I eased up a bit around the guys... and I honestly think it's getting easier to get over George.  I feel like I could actually be a friend with him.  I feel like I can be less awkward around him as well.  This is good news.  :)  I love it when I can finally be over a guy.  I love that I've found a guy that I am more comfortable with too... Scott.  Just meaning, I can be more of myself around him because we were friends first.  That's why I can flirt with him more easily... we already have stuff to talk about.  We'll just see how things go from here!

New Blog!

Alright followers, I've created a new blog - squeezeoutasmile.blogspot.com .  I may still post on this blog, but it won't be as entertaining...

This one will more likely contain the dulls and blahs of my life, whereas the other... well... just check it out yourself. ;)

So-so to So Great!

This morning I woke up much too early.  I had to sit through 2 classes that seemed to drag on for hours.  I failed a test.  Surely today would not be the best day of my life.  Then something changed.  I said to myself "it's not about the experiences, it's about the attitude.  Cheer up!  Life is all about how you choose to see it."  So I did!

First I decided to look at some positives going on in my life:  I've got a healthy, normally-functioning body.  I can use my arms, legs, eyes, ears, and mind.  I've got no room to complain!  I failed a test, yes, but that doesn't mean it's the end of the world - just study harder and move on.  Some people were never blessed to have even a high school education, why should I complain?  I've got some money in the bank - some people don't have a penny to their name, so why should I complain about being so broke? 

Next I decided to remedy some of my sorrows; I went shopping.  I bought one shirt that I think looked absolutely great on me, and I'm saving it for my date in California with Tim.  (Did I mention the date before?)  Other than that I didn't spend much, but I found some great items that I'd like to pick up if they ever go on sale!

After my shopping trip I did some laundry - desperately needed!  Walking back to my apartment from the laundry room (no laundry in hand, thankfully) I ran into George. :)  Nothing amazing happened... but it was nice to see him and chat for just a second or two.  I thought that would be the highlight of the day, but I was definitely mistaken.

Tonight we had a ward girls' choice dinner date for Valentine's Day.  I took a guy that I've had a semi-crush on for a while - Scott.  We had a great time!  We talked and had so much fun playing the games the ward set up.  Then as the ward party was finishing up and everyone in the car I came with decided it was time to leave there was an announcement made for ward basketball after the party.  Scott and I talked about it just a little - I didn't have any desire to go to play basketball, in fact, I really don't like the sport.  But Scott said he'd probably go, and kind of hinted to me that he'd like to see me there (at least, that's how I took it).  So Charlee reminded me that I gave her permission last time to "twist my arm to get me to go".  So I had my excuse - I had to go!  In reality it was much more of a pleasure than a pain - I got to see some friends, and I'm going to be honest - I enjoyed playing!  Amazing.  I also really enjoyed the fact that I could sit in between games and watch Scott shoot hoops and occasionally catch him looking at me too.  I could be trying to make something out of this that really isn't there... but who knows!

Basically, today was one of the best days of my college life so far!  :)

Elimination Round

This blog post refers heavily on one posted a few days ago, so if you haven't read that one and you get lost reading this one, it's your own fault.

Elimination #1

In my search for a summer job I've eliminated two of my options due to consequences I didn't want to face.  I will not be working at Honda World - I need more than one day of work.  I will not be working at Disneyland this summer - I'm going to wait until January to go back!

That's it for that elimination, but there's more to say.

Right now I'm feeling a strong pull towards working at Aspen Grove.  Maybe it's because I've had two great friends come from that and I've heard great things.  Maybe it's because I know I won't have to pay rent.  Maybe it's because I know it will force me to be outside more often.  Maybe it's because I'll still be in the same ward boundaries that I'm in right now and I absolutely love my ward!  Maybe it's because it's the work I'd be doing there - working with families to make happy memories - just like my favorite part about working at Disneyland!  But I think it's something much more.  More than I care to go into detail about at this time, but I feel like Aspen Grove is the right move to make at this time in my life.

Elimination #2

It's not official yet, but at the end of February I plan on quitting my current job.  There's just so much about it that I really don't like.  There are some people there that really annoy me.  I don't like my hours.  I think part of it is just the fact that after working at Disneyland working anywhere else is just a job.  It's not magical.  I would never visit Jamba when I'm not scheduled, but I would go to Disneyland everyday!  So yes, it's time to leave Jamba Juice.
Also, very importantly, leaving my job will give me more time to do other things - study, exercise, be social, all kinds of great things!  You know, a normal college life!

On a side note I am feeling so liberated!  After talking to George last night I feel like I can just be more of who I really am.  I feel like I'm not hiding any secrets now.  I can't really explain it... it's just... liberating!

On another side note... when I woke up this morning I noticed I had gotten a text from Tim in the middle of the night.  After reading it I was disgusted.  I decided I really don't want to go down any roads with him and I would just not respond and maybe just stop talking to him all together.  But later on today he texted other things that just made me want him again.  I'm a sucker for a good line (if it's sincere), and I just can't let him go. 

Love is a rollercoaster ride.  You start slowly and steadily going up, then you have major drops.  When you think you're at the lowest point you suddenly shoot right back to the top.  There are all kinds of twists and turns and you never really know what's up ahead, but you know it's going to be a mixture of thrills and spills, and that's what makes it exciting!  You really don't want to be at high points the entire time, that leaves no room for growth, and it would get kind of boring.  But you're on the ride together, and at the scariest moments, just hold on to each other and you can make it through.

I'll take my chances

Do you remember a former post where I had to make a decision about my dating life?  Where I had to invite a guy to a dinner activity?  Most importantly, do you remember a guy in that post called George?  Well if you don't know what I'm talking about you may want to refresh your memory.

Today in Sacrament meeting George bore his testimony, and while paying attention to all of the speakers, I paid a little extra attention to his.  I heard something that really caught my attention:  he is considering moving back to his hometown across the country.  Disaster for me.  I don't want him to leave.  I want him to stay here so we can get to know each other a little better.  I want him to stay here and date me.  (Okay, maybe that sounded a little too creeper-ish.)  He can't leave without me at least telling him how I feel.  I thought about that for most of Church.
After Sacrament meeting I went to Sunday school - the class he often teaches.  And of course he taught today.  It just gave me another chance to stare at him and for my mind to go haywire thinking about what I'd do if he moved away without me ever getting the chance to go on a single date with him.  I made my decision, I'm not going to wait any longer.
"Wait for what?" you might ask.  Well, my roommate once brought up the fact that he might want to ask me out to get his mind off of another girl he had been casually dating.  He was skeptical about that (I think), because we hadn't really even talked to each other at that point... I was crushing on him from a distance.  However, lately I have been talking a bit more to him - just casual conversation, but still conversation at all.  So today during the 3-hour block I decided I would make my move.
Ward Prayer.  I talked to him while everyone was mingling, just saying "hey, great lesson and testimony today ..." blah blah blah.  Then I asked "Did you say you're moving back to your home state?"  He replied he was thinking about it because he had a job opportunity... blah blah blah.  So I remarked that if he does we should hang out before he would go back.  He said he was just thinking about it and nothing is set in stone yet.  I said we should hang out anyway.
Was that too forward?  Only time will tell!  But now everything is a little more out in the open; now he at least can sense that something is up.  But I guess things can't get any worse... Things can only get better from here!